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So you want to be a warrior-hottie Amusing Quotes by other people
Buddhism Exploration Simplicity and connections in love

So you want to be a warrior-hottie? Here are some rules you need to learn:

1. Skimpy clothes are your friend, the skimpier the better.

2. If you don't have the body to wear skimpy clothes then try to find a sidekick position

3. Sidekicks are useful for bringing you bottled water while you are battling the forces of evil.

4. Bottled water can often be used to wet your body, making the clothes adhere tightly.

5. The tighter and skimpier your clothes, the higher your rank as a warrior-hottie.

6. The supreme warrior-hottie dresses in only pasties

7. It is rumored that there is a completely nude warrior-hottie, but the skill required seems prohibitive.

8. A warrior-hottie must be able to do a split from any position, this includes inverted.

9. As a warrior-hottie, sex is your strongest weapon. Once you have them hypnotized you can stab them with the improbably small and strangely sheathed dagger you carry in your bosom.

10. Sidekicks will get into trouble and you will have to rescue them using an improbable series of jumps and kicks. Walking through the front door would offend the sidekick's honor.

11. Sidekicks are replaceable so if its too much trouble to rescue one, just go to your backup.

12. At some point you will die, but you will be brought back to life by your arch-foe who can't bear to go on without you because he is secretly in love with you. Just go with it.

13. A true warrior-hottie cannot receive minor injuries such as scratches, she can however receive major injuries and claim they are just a scratch.

14. Beware gods bearing gifts.

15. If you have never traveled to a place before and the people seem friendly, be cautious for they have surely heard rumors of you and plan to trap and ransom you to the nearest warlord.

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